


Tony Has Houseguests

by Dillian



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: FrostIron - Freeform, IronDad and SpiderSon, IronFrost - Freeform, Lokidad and Spiderson too maybe?, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), The Alternate Dimension Where Loki is Alive, mcu canon divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dillian/pseuds/Dillian
Summary: Simple premise:  What if Loki escapes to Tony Stark's house after he gets the Space Stone?  They have sex, and then after that...Original premise was just that Tony would have the one houseguest (Loki), but it occurred to me to see what would happen if a certain young boy who hero-worships him got added in there too.NOTE:  I intentionally make Peter two years younger here, than he is in canon.  It's the only way to make his behavior in Iron Man 2 age-appropriate, IMHO.





	1. Chapter 1

**[Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe** ****  
**Characters: Loki, Thor, Thanos, the Other, Tony Stark** **  
** **Author’s note: This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.** **]**

People have this idea, like Loki thinks he’s the most powerful being in the whole entire universe. He doesn’t. Loki’s met the most powerful being in the whole entire universe. His name is Thanos, and he whaled on Loki hard. Loki only managed to get away, because he’s very sneaky. If you play your cards right, sneakiness is way better than power.

There was this stone, see: Thanos wanted it for reasons that don’t bear discussing. After Loki fell into his hands (you _don’t_ want to hear how that one came about), he heard about the stone from one of the other prisoners in Thanos’ very large, very disgusting dungeon.

“A stone?”

“One of the Infinity Stones. You’ve heard of those?”

Some of the most tempting items in Odin’s treasure vault are Infinity Stones. Loki hasn’t just heard of them, he’s gotten in trouble more than a few times for trying to steal one or another of them. He didn’t let on to the other prisoner though, and he certainly didn’t tell Thanos’ pet stooge that, when The Other dragged him out of his cell to have a conversation with him. Instead, the conversation went something like this:

“You want me to steal a what? From where?”

“An Infinity Stone. From Midgard.”

Here is a useful little Midgardian story that Loki ran across while he was doing research about the realm that his adopted brother suddenly fell in love with, after he met the woman Jane: It seems there was this rabbit. An evil bear and a fox caught him, and they were going to destroy him, but he got out of it. “See that briar patch over there?” he said. (Briars are a Midgardian plant that rabbits eat, apparently.) “If there’s one thing that scares me,” the sneaky rabbit said, “it’s briars! PLEASE DON’T THROW ME IN THAT TERRIFYING BRIAR PATCH!!!”

You see where the story maybe relates?

“Oh pfft, Midgard,” sneaky Loki said to the so-gullible Other. “I could so totally take them in about two seconds, it’s not like they’ve got protection from anybody, and certainly not from the God of Thunder. I mean come on, those guys would be easy.”

“You know we’ll kill you if you fail,” the Other said. Pfft, like they weren’t planning on killing him already?

So, down to Earth he went, to start his so- amazing, so-glorious battle. And when he got there, it was nice to find out that Thor had some allies, who helped him stop the Chitauri army dead. Then Thor was supposed to take Loki back to face prison in Asgard. Loki was, for some reason, supposed to be upset about this? Please? HE ESCAPED FROM FUCKING THANOS. So he was going to go with Thor, he was going to sit in prison for awhile, until he could get someone to listen to him, and maybe go stop Thanos. Then before any of that could happen, the most wonderful thing in the world happened instead.

You ever had a present fall right into your lap? This must be how Thanos felt when Loki dropped into his realm. It’s a really good feeling, like wow, that changes the whole picture! One second, Loki was a prisoner. He was bound and gagged, and looked the picture of submission (although, fun fact: He could have shapeshifted out of those bonds any time, if he’d wanted to). Thor certainly thought he had him right where he wanted him, and then suddenly, boom! That was when Thor’s friend with the metal suit, Tony Stark, fell down as though he was dying. Someone dropped the Space Stone during the confusion, and the next thing Loki knows, there it was sitting at his feet. He naturally picked it up.

Loki wasn’t intending to go to Stark’s house. He saw the Stone, and he picked it up. He must have been thinking about Stark, because of seeing him fall though, and the Stone must have caught his thoughts somehow, because before he could decide where he did want to go, there he was in this roomful of red-and-gold suits. Obviously Tony Stark lived here.

Fun fact: Loki wasn’t intending to go anywhere in Midgard. He was actually thinking about Jotunheim, which sort of belongs to him, as Laufey’s son, and so he could probably raise an army. If he was in Midgard, though, this was probably the best place to end up. He saw the metal suits, he thought that maybe with one of those and a little clever shape-shifting, he might get Thor and the rest of the so-called “Avengers” to go fight Thanos with him. Most of them wouldn’t be much use, but the green monster? If anyone can beat Thanos one-on-one, it’ll be Hulk.

First, though… Well, Loki was tired. He was also very hungry. Stark’s kitchen was stocked with plentiful food. After awhile his robotic manservant came awake, and started saying things like, “Excuse me? Who are you?” etcetera. Loki just shifted into Stark-form.

“You can go shut down for the night,” he said, and the servant left him alone.

After that, he ate. Triangles of savory stuff from a box marked Pizza, and other, less tasty things, from a box that said Gluten-Free Waffles. He quenched his thirst from some bottles labeled Scotch (lighter than Asgardian ale, but still pleasant), and then went to sleep in Stark’s bedroom. 

And then in the middle of the night: “SOMEBODY’S BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED.” (This phrase is from another Midgardian tale, about a girl with “goldy” locks.) Loki was sound asleep, unfortunately, still wearing Stark’s form. “Pepper?” he heard Stark say, and then, after he got a better look, “Oh fuck, it’s Loki.”

Our chaotic hero, you understand, was still just barely waking up at this point. Something possessed him to say, “No, you were right, it’s Pepper,” and to attempt a shapeshift. Stark, of course, was not convinced. “Fine, you caught me.” Loki sat up. “Now you will do as I say, or I shall have to kill you, puny mortal.”

Another fun fact: Tony Stark’s robotic manservant is remarkably formidable. Have you ever tried subduing a recalcitrant mortal in a house with the oxygen turned off? Did you even know there were houses with oxygen that could be turned off? Stark was wearing his suit of course, and he was just fine. “I also have Hulk on speed-dial,” he said. “One word from me, and he’ll be over here to kick your ass again.”

Probably it was an idle threat. “Can you turn the air on again? Please?” Loki managed to gasp out.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m curious about how long Asgardians can survive without oxygen.” (The air was already coming on again at this point, so, whatever.) “I guess I’ll be nice,” Stark said. “But you, Loki, had better remember who’s boss.”

“I shall behave as though you were Odin himself.” (Not that he would.) “Come Stark, be merciful,” Loki said, “my life is forfeit in at least half the Nine Realms. Protect me, I beg of you.”

__________________________

Some would call it Stockholm Syndrome. Others more reasonably would say that Loki is trying to blend in where he goes, so that he can better accomplish his ends. Whatever you call it, the end result is the same: A devious God of Chaos takes changes himself to please whatever being is most powerful, wherever he ends up. Think of the little Giant baby who transformed himself into an Asgardian? This is like that only better, because Loki has of course grown smarter since then, and more powerful.

Stark is simple man. He likes tinkering with his little mechanical toys, and he likes physical pleasure. He thinks he has a sense of responsibility, but it is so easily distracted. “I should tell Thor you’re here.” He’s eyeing Loki suspiciously as he says this. “Or I should tell Cap, or I should tell the Hulk.”

“Please, your mechanical servant can stop me, you saw that,” Loki says to him. “All I want is one night of rest before I return to Asgard and face Odin. Is that so much to ask?”

“It is…” Stark was already wavering, you could tell.

“Come, didn’t you promise me a drink? You can always give me to my brother afterward.”

The drink is followed by a second one, and that is followed by a third and a fourth. There is some eating too, but not a lot of it (because Loki’s already eaten all of Stark’s food). There’s not enough eating for Stark, that’s for sure. Mortals don’t have the same capacity for drink as superior beings, and Loki has his host right where he wants him inside an hour.

Where he wants him is in bed. Loki had thought about Stark’s workroom instead, but please: Let’s be real here, would you go look at a lot of dirty, smelly machinery, when you could have some nice easy sex instead? _I thought not._

“I’ll give you a massage,” he offers.

Stark’s not drunk, let’s be clear on that. He's just ...shall we say, pliable? He’s easier to deal with than he normally is, and he’s a lot more fun, but he is also perfectly capable of saying no. ...If he had wanted to say no, that is.

“Why would I want a massage from you, Loki?”

“Because I give very good ones? You could ask the Other…” (This is literally true, by the way. Loki managed to evade more than a few beatings while he was a prisoner, by massaging Thanos’ disgusting little assistant, and especially his horrible, stinky feet.). “He would tell you,” Loki says. “Come on, Stark, it’s just this one time.”

“I have a girlfriend.” Stark was wavering more.

“One time… It’ll be fun.”

The massage was fun, as was the sex that came afterward. Loki learned a few tricks while he was in Asgard, from his unfortunately pedo-curious instructress. Amora knew what she liked, and she taught him to do all of it. The nice thing with Stark is that he does it back, and some more things besides. Sex would be pretty good, if it were always be like this.

Here’s the thing with Stark: He likes kissing. He likes kissing everywhere, and for a very long time. He likes taking you in his mouth and making you come so hard you scream, and it’s only after you’re a limp rag from having come so many times that he fucks you himself. And when he fucks, he fucks _hard_.

And after the sex, Stark likes eating. This is fine with Loki. They didn’t feed him very much when he was a prisoner. The two of them go into the kitchen, and Stark seems all surprised when there’s no food. “Did you eat it, Loki?”

A shrug. “Someone’s been eating my porridge?”

The Midgardian reference, as expected, amuses Stark, who then takes him out for various things called “burgers,” and “fries.” These are disgustingly greasy, but also really, really good. After this, Stark takes him back to the house again.

“Now I have to call your brother,” he says.

Loki won’t have trouble finding a way to stop that from happening.


	2. Chapter 2

**[Fandom: MCU** ****  
**Characters: Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Liz Toomes, Tony Stark, Loki** **  
** **Author’s note: This is a fan-work, meant for enjoyment only, and not for any material profit.** **]**

How did he end up in the big house in Malibu? _Good question._ It was really weird. One day he’s just at daycare, right? Like every day of every summer, basically of his whole entire life? He’s playing with his friends on the playground, etcetera, he’s being Iron Man, Ned’s being this guy he saw on the news, this guy named Loki?

Here’s something funny: Peter didn’t really believe there was a Loki, back then. Sort of shows why you ought to watch the news, doesn’t it? 

Anyway though, there they were: It’s Ned’s turn to come up with a story, he’s like, “This guy named Loki, and this other guy named Thor, and etcetera etcetera, and there’s this scientist, her name is Jane Foster. -- You be Jane, okay Liz?”

So Liz was all like, “No way Ned, I want to be Thor, and you can be Jane,” and Ned’s like, “No, I’ll be Loki.” What makes these guys Peter’s best friends is they _always_ let him be Tony Stark, they know he’s like his hero.

So, Peter’s being Tony, and Liz is this Thor. Then Ned comes in being Loki, “In a giant iron suit,” Ned said, so, okay.

“I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU WITH LIGHTNING BOLTS,” Ned-Loki says.

“No fighting, use your words instead,” Peter says back, because you know Tony Stark, he’s always making jokes.

Little did he know then that he would be _living_ with that exact same Tony Stark, just a week later. How weird is that? But it happened, and here he is. And here’s the disturbing part: That exact same Loki is _right here in the house_ with them.

Weird, huh? 

Battle of New York, Aunt May and Peter’s apartment building gets crushed. (Fortunately neither of them was there at the time.) That whole day was kind of scarier than somebody would really like to think about, as in, even though they were miles and miles away from what was happening, Peter and the other kids could, like, see most of it. Giant things coming out of the sky, alien ships that looked like dinosaur skeletons, and all these explosions and stuff. And then the emergency alarm goes off on the school radio, and the next thing you know the daycare people are herding them all down into the basement, and their faces? _White as sheets._

Aunt May was super-late picking him up that night, and she was all pale and stuff too. It was only after she got there that Peter realized: _She might have died too._ Any of them might have, even him. This was something to think about.

Aunt May spent like four or five hours on the phone that night, trying to find them a hotel room somewhere. There weren’t any hotel rooms though, not even as far away as New Jersey, because so many buildings got destroyed during the battle. They ended up sleeping in the car. Then the next day, Captain America of all people comes to the daycare, he’s like, “Well, we’ll find you all places to stay.”

Nobody was as lucky as Peter. (Or that’s what he thought anyway, when Cap goes, “You get to stay with Iron Man.”) Staying with Iron Man isn’t really what it’s cracked up to be, unfortunately. It’s cool yeah, but it’s weird.

__________________________

Loki: He isn’t really like he is on the news. Everybody’s seen the stories, because how can you not? They’re still running all of them, like, 24/7. For instance, that thing in Germany or Norway, or something, the one where he’s in front of this whole big crowd of people, and he’s telling them, “KNEEL TO ME, KNEEL YOU WORMS,” or whatever? In real life he’s quiet, and sort of polite if anything, and he dresses just like anybody else.

You’re probably saying, “Well, he’s still a villain.” _Is he though?_ When you know everything about him, is he? Mr. Stark says he isn’t. That should be good enough for everyone.

“There’s no such thing as heroes or villains.” (This is what Mr. Stark said, when he was explaining about Loki.) “People make mistakes. What matters is what you do afterward…”

Adults have this way of talking, they always say way more than they need to, and everything is always very philosophical for them. Some of it makes sense, some of it doesn’t… Here’s the key thing, though: Loki isn’t a villain. In fact, he’s trying to stop someone very dangerous, someone he says is named Thanos, who could destroy the Earth just practically by looking at it. Mr. Stark says that Loki came to him because he wanted help destroying this guy Thanos, he says that from the research he’s doing, Loki might be telling the truth, and if he is, then yeah, not just he should help him, but the rest of the Avengers too.

Here’s another thing with adults: They have this look they’ll get when they’re not telling you the whole truth. It’s something in their eyes, kind of a shifty look. You know the one? Mr. Stark thinks even with the Avengers, he and Loki might not be able to stop this Thanos. You can see it in his face, you can see he’s scared. When adults keep quiet about stuff like that though, what they don’t get is that it just leaves the kids to get even more scared.

Only at the same time, Mr. Stark’s house. Is. _Amazing._ Peter’s been trying to focus on that. How many kids are going to start Fifth Grade next month, and be able to say they stayed over with one of the actual Avengers?

Loki’s kind of okay too, when he wants to be. Neither he nor Mr. Stark seems to understand very much about how to be with kids, they kind of switch between treating Peter like he’s an adult just like them, and treating him like a baby. The adult-parts are fun, though, and Mr. Stark’s AI JARVIS always takes over during the other parts. JARVIS is good with kids (you kind of get the impression he’d be good with anybody).

Also, Mr. Stark and Loki are… _you know._ They _are_ , even though you wouldn’t believe it at first; Peter’s been all over the house, and the only bed that ever gets used besides his is Mr. Stark’s. What else are you supposed to think? Nobody’s ever going to hear about that from him, though. Mr. Stark deserves his privacy.


End file.
